I’m sorry @Lost In WIsconsin I just noticed you are a new member and clearly very distressed. Maybe it would be more helpful to you if you start your own thread in this relationship forum. You can use what you shared when you introduced yourself as a new member.

What I can say is that a partner can struggle with a lot of insecurity and get very threatened very easily and behave in very dysfunctional ways. It can take time to sort through along with all the uncomfotable feelings one experiences themselves.