“ I obviously lack the appeal to have somebody fall for me, the social skills (not the mention the sexual expertise) to enter in a relationship and keep it going. ”
^
Are you sure all these are true, or is it that you lack confidence? Can these skills be learned and improved? Would improving these skills give you the confidence you need?

It’s funny how I think of movies to apply to situations. On your tango thread, I had mentioned Saturday Night Fever. On this thread, it reminds me of another great film, Swingers. Have you seen it? I think you’d like it because it’s also about Swing dancing. It’s about a man gaining confidence with women, and getting over an ex. I recommend watching these films because they really demonstrate a message that I can’t explain as well. Especially the part where Vince Vaughn tells John Favreau ‘She’s just a bunny and you are a wolf’. The message is to not overthink it so much that it stifles you with women.