RD, you always seem to start good topics. I thought I’d see what you started lately. I have mixed feelings about this birthday stuff. Like you I won’t throw a tantrum if people don’t remember but nobody asks me when my birthday is anyway. One or two people remember, the ones that know. Like you, I don’t need a big fuss and singing and cheering. But it’s just nice to be remembered, to be acknowledged of your existence, for someone to be happy that they know you and that you were born.

As a kid, I never had a birthday party. How humiliating is that??! I never had enough friends to have a party as a kid or as an adult never had a surprise party either. Or any party. Ones at work didn’t count. As a kid I was also embarrassed about where we lived even if I did have anyone to invite.

As far as coworkers, I still remember how I used to work at a big company. And the department I worked in, how they used to have a tradition of having parties for birthdays. In hindsight, I see it was just an excuse to pig out on junk food. Like you said nobody genuinely cares about your birthday. At the time I joined the department I didn’t know of it. And I was blindsided by coworkers gathering to “celebrate”my birthday. There was food, balloons, etc. I didn’t even work with these people a week yet. It seems so phony. I wonder how many other people felt the same way.

Now that I’m getting older, I don’t feel too much like celebrating. But it would be nice to share a day with somebody who gives a F about me. But as you know, I’ve posted in your other threads about finding sincere friends. I’d rather be alone than have fair weather friends or acquaintances, pretending to care.

You’re right it’s not genuine and I think not all cultures make a big deal of it like we do. I once knew a woman who didn’t celebrate birthdays though she was American. There’s a kind of pressure to it if you have nobody to be with, yet people who already know ask what are you doing. It’s like the holidays, same bs.

I don’t tell people unless they ask as don’t want to come across as fishing for attention. I guess I could say it’s a low key thing but since nobody asks I don’t have that problem. Thanks for starting this as I got that off my chest.



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