People have called me co-dependent before, but here is the definition (or a definition):
Codependency: How to Recognize the Signs
1) Having a sense of “walking on eggshells” to avoid conflict with the other person - THIS DEVELOPED OVER TIME AS HE WOULD BLAME ME
2) Feeling the need to check in with the other person and/or ask permission to do daily tasks - NEVER. BUT I EXPECTED HIM TO DO TASKS AS HE LIVED IN THE SAME HOUSE
3) Often being the one who apologizes—even if you have done nothing wrong - ONLY WHEN WARRANTED, WHICH WAS SELDOM
4) Feeling sorry for the other person, even when they hurt you - NO
5) Regularly trying to change or rescue troubled, addicted, or under-functioning people whose problems go beyond one person's ability to fix - NO
6) Doing anything for the other person, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable - NO
7) Putting the other person on a pedestal, despite the fact that they don’t merit this position - NO
8) A need for other people to like you in order to feel good about yourself - NO
9) Struggling to find any time for yourself, especially if your free time consistently goes to the other person - MAYBE. I HAD TO DO A LOT OF HOUSEHOLD TASKS
10) Feeling as if you’ve lost a sense of yourself within the relationship - DEFINITELY
I rate myself as a 3/10. I don't think I am codependent. But I like living with someone and that kills me... going to an empty house. I was the youngest in a large family and there was always something going on - that brings me peace, believe it or not.
And no, I do not take on other people's responsibilities unless it's going to hinder me. I am very good at staying in my line, especially professionally. However, other people have tried to give me more work and I've refused right away. Then I'm not a team player! HA! But, under my own roof, I have expectations of people living in it pulling their fair share. And when they don't, that's when the problems arise.
As for the coffee guy, he is leaving and most are happy about it. I've known him for years. Many people are unimpressed by him.