I've had to be SO strong through this last year through SO much turmoil, upheaval, loss, and change. My father dying, then my separation, then my job loss, then my divorce, and now trying to get back on my feet again in my career, within myself, and in my life. It's all a bit too much for me to handle.

Every day I wake up, with an intention of pushing through, of getting things done and of forging ahead to accomplish my goals, however, the past few weeks have been especially difficult.

I find myself wanting time to myself to regroup, to relax, and to take a break/vacation from my problems. Then, I get down on myself for not being productive enough.

Like yesterday, I wasted most of the day on God knows what, I took a drive for an hour in the afternoon, then didn't even start my course until 3:30 PM. Originally, I meant to spend all day on my course, but I didn't.

I am tired of having to be so strong. I am tired of the struggle. I just want a break...

And I find myself wishing I still had a partner around to help support me through my difficulties. I am alone, and right now in this moment, it's hard for me to be alone. I know I don't NEED a man to live my life or to be strong, but I am missing being able to get moral and cheerleader support from a partner.