I've been feeling very low energy, lately. Actually, a bit depressed. I told my psychiatrist that so she upped my lamotrigine a teeny bit, as well as the Seroquel IR. I don't know if these medication changes have exacerbated how I feel or if the depression is progressing. I have been sleeping more than usual and have less and less energy during the day. Having to go out so much is becoming too much for me. Today we had to go out to lunch with my husband's sister and nephew. I was thinking about bowing out, but I knew my husband would get angry if I did.

I have been so unhappy for a long while. Obviously the sickness and eventual death of my brother, and my dad's death, were big factors, but it was more than that. I feel like anything of my own, and my old hobbies, are just gone. There's less and less of me, nowadays. I'm too dependent on my husband, and even he is getting sick of that, as well. And yet when I tell him to do things without me, he won't hear of it. Even me driving is taken away. I feel like a bit of a prisoner. I told him I'd like to adopt a cat, but he's not interested in having on in the house. And the time never seems right. But I do need someone else. I'm refusing getting a parrot.

There's nothing really left where I originally come from. I've started to almost detest the place. I feel like I don't belong anywhere, anymore. Everything seems so hard where I'm at. Everything back where I came from triggers anger in me.

I feel deprived. I feel alone.