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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour
I've been feeling very low energy, lately. Actually, a bit depressed. I told my psychiatrist that so she upped my lamotrigine a teeny bit, as well as the Seroquel IR. I don't know if these medication changes have exacerbated how I feel or if the depression is progressing. I have been sleeping more than usual and have less and less energy during the day. Having to go out so much is becoming too much for me. Today we had to go out to lunch with my husband's sister and nephew. I was thinking about bowing out, but I knew my husband would get angry if I did.
I have been so unhappy for a long while. Obviously the sickness and eventual death of my brother, and my dad's death, were big factors, but it was more than that. I feel like anything of my own, and my old hobbies, are just gone. There's less and less of me, nowadays. I'm too dependent on my husband, and even he is getting sick of that, as well. And yet when I tell him to do things without me, he won't hear of it. Even me driving is taken away. I feel like a bit of a prisoner. I told him I'd like to adopt a cat, but he's not interested in having on in the house. And the time never seems right. But I do need someone else. I'm refusing getting a parrot.
There's nothing really left where I originally come from. I've started to almost detest the place. I feel like I don't belong anywhere, anymore. Everything seems so hard where I'm at. Everything back where I came from triggers anger in me.
I feel deprived. I feel alone.
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Oh hon it sounds like you are depressed
With all you've gone through it's understandable. And all that was really recent - you are still in grief. You can't expect yourself to heal so quickly. Are you talking to any therapist or ? Even a few appointments could help.
Do you have neighbors with cats you can pet?
It's good to make yourself do things, but your husband has to understand you are still grieving and need to rest after. You need a full year to recover from a family death, let alone two.
After my best friend died, a therapist told me to do "grounding" throughout the day where I focus on my feet on the ground connecting me to the Earth and take some deep breaths. Barefoot on grass is best but any surface is fine. Just take a few slow, deep breaths and focus on your feet touching the ground. Proven to lower cortisol (stress hormone). I love this and still do it because it's so quick and easy.
And remember you need LOTS OF TIME to recover from 2 deaths in your family. A few months is not enough. It took me at least a year to stop crying over my Dad's death, and sometimes I still do. I know these meds they put us on sometimes stop us from crying and that's a shame because we need the catharsis.