“Sexual narcissism involves a self-centered pattern of sexual behavior. Sometimes this manifests as an inflated sense of sexual ability or sexual entitlement. Other times, it is overcompensation for sexual shame and low self-esteem. Either way, there is a tendency to manipulate others and a lack of empathy for how they may be affected by certain actions (and sometimes inactions).”

Narcissism IS an intimacy issue. I kept going to therapy, saying we have an intimacy issue. I suggest you read more and watch videos about sex with narcissists. Once I learned, I saw it in my relationship and understood. Then I got out.

There is something within you that kept you in it, and that is something to look at too. I’m not victim blaming. It is essential to look at what drew you in and kept you there. The science links it to your relationship with your parents and early childhood trauma. I had this. That’s why I was begging for crumbs.

Also, what your wife did with the occasional great sex is called intermittent reinforcement.