Are you stating what you want when you email him? For example, asking for an extra session or to bring your session forward. If you are not safe, you need to go to the hospital (I am sure you know this) and if he doesn't provide crisis support you need to work out other sources of support. Have you agreed what outside session contact looks like or worked out a safety plan with him? Maybe your feelings of manipulation come from not being explicit and clear about your needs so you fear you are trying to creep through the backdoor to get them met.