Thanks for the supportive words

It's been a bit of a whirlwind this week. My husband's bail conditions regarding no-contact were altered with my approval; however, he wasn't able to follow these and is now in jail again. Not sure what will happen for him next.

I explained to him via messenger that I was not able to return to the relationship as it has previously existed and need a separation/divorce. This is where I have control over things getting better or returning to how they have been. I can't stop the alcoholism, the negative behavior, outbursts, and anger. I can choose to not live with it anymore and to make a safer home environment for the kiddos and myself.

I've realized how much I've been gaslit by him over the years and also that he is very much a narcissist which hasn't been healthy for our relationship. I'm scared of how angry is is with me right now and am grateful for the support of his & my family. Meeting with my soon-to-be lawyer today and starting this process. I just want him to let me go and move on because I'm done and he can't get me back.