The porn was an issue, according to him, well before I ever came into the picture. He deveolped the habit while his marriage was ending. I did not find this out of course until recently. The cd's I found were old ones. If he had been viewing them recently I would have noticed such on the tracking software installed on his computer. I suppose there are always still ways to get away with something for awhile if one wants to find away. Yet I have a key to his house...but why keep the cd's - why not throw them away - dispose of them?

What is strange to me though is why? We had/have always a great sex life, no deprivation on his part there. What was the use of the porn for? Just habit? No worries about producing children quickly - he is fixed and would have to get un-fixed before such could happen - whew!

He still talks about me moving in. Says I am it for him - I am everything to him - I know he means it yet he isn't always in this personality all the time. He has the ability to cut off from his emotions and seemingly feel nothing. He goes into his anxiety personality and zones out. All he does is worry and fret. Yet other times we can be so absolutely wonderful together. Work great together, harmonize together, love so deeply it makes me cry! How to rectify all of the above - make it all work? How to leave if I feel so deeply? I know these are all answers for only me to make but this is so emotinally difficult. I have been through so much in my life, although young, and yet this by far is messing with my mind the most. I really, truly don't know what to do.