The first anniversary of J's death has already passed and now she's been gone 16 months, that just does not seem possible! What also doesn't seem possible is how much she is still in my head and my thoughts. It's not that I want to forget her, I just don't want to feel haunted by her memory. I wish so much that I could have talked to her one last time. But of course I can't bring myself to tell you that. It still feels too weird talking about deceased ex-T with current-T.

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