It kind of seems like she used a lot of convenient excuses to keep herself in the position of control.

I struggled a lot with feeling like dh was some kind of mastermind, with always seeming to have things in his favor. Then one day I realized I was overthinking it, because to a narc, sloppy living is its own reward. When you do the right thing, you chose from a handful of actions, when you just want to maintain your power, you can shoot in all directions to see what sticks. It's convenient excuses and accusations that keep the relationships off balance. It's wild little kid logic . There's not much point in trying to understand why on a deeper level, because there may not be a level deeper than straight up self serving control- at least that's my experience.