@KublaKhan I am like you. Empathy/sympathy at the APPROPRIATE time but not constantly with someone who continually whines about their situation & does nothing to change it.
I was stuck in depression/anxiety/ sui attempts & anorexia for 13 years. I wished that therapy would have helped ME solve the whole situational issue instead just throwing empathy & drugs at me.
By the end of those 13 years I kinda figured it out on my own & I took the action necessary while I was being blamed for being wrong. Lol....joke was on all of them because I left them all, moved across the country, found quality therapy & quality people to surround myself with & life totally changed & I healed & empathy was NOT what I needed.....it was solution for the problem & defining the REAL PROBLEM.
From my personal experience I see that too many T's & clients don't want to do the WORK. Empathy is easier to desire & easier for others to throw at the situation because it doesn't require a solution.
I was an aerospace computer design engineer & if we all had just done a "gee we have a problem with the program I'm really sorry" that military jet using our program would have crashed into the ocean. Solutions are NECESSARY no matter how much work they take.
I have seen way too often in my 70 years of life that empathy (outside of appropriate situations) does become enabling & actually harmful with a negative effect on healing.
I have to say for me, while right in the middle of the situation causing my mental health problems I sure could have used someone with an analytical mind helping me.....but then there is the risk of them putting thoughts into your mind & them not actually being yours. But it is difficult seeing the forest for the trees when lost in the middle of the forest & that is what most need help achieving rather than a "gee I am really sorry you are lost"
Lol....my 2 cents for the day