Bill

It didn't happen much.

I was the homework guy for all of them. Still am.

The thing was, there was always a way to be wrong.

We borrowed money to renovate the house. It was work that should have been done regardless, but the idea was it would also increase the value of the house in the event we had to sell it.

Well, labor is expensive. So I undertook all the renovations. Which meant estimating all materials, scheduling delivery, getting staging and ladders, and calling in help from friends to borrow tools and a truck to pick up materials that were taking too long to get delivered.

She wasn't working at the time, but had a disrupted sleep schedule.

There was a point in the project where I told her I was going to have to make a big push for two days to ensure the house was weather tight. I scheduled this in accordance with the weather, and lined up three guys to help me.. One donated his time, and two I paid.

I scheduled a late morning start for both days to accomodate her sleep schedule.

The rest of that project took weeks, and I used all my available vacation to complete it, as well as working evenings and every weekend. At different times the house was again subject to the weather, so I stopped and started and weather-tighted it based on my availability and the weather. Ladders, tools and some staging were taken down daily as I often didn't know when I was going to return to the project.

All of it was done around her schedule. I started late to accomodate her sleep, and still made meals, and still did a lot of stuff with the kids. In fact, the kids were often with me. If they couldn't help, they played music and hung out with me.

There was never a thank you or any appreciation for this. Not even a "It looks really good".

Several years ago one of the kids got very sick. He needed to be home for a while. My wife became very angry at this, at how it was going to effect her and her ability to go to work. At that time she was working about 18-20 hours a week, often afternoons and evenings. That he was sick wasn't a concern. That she couldn't cope with the situation was the concern. So, I went to the doctor and asked for four weeks of medical leave, which he gave me.

I stayed home with the sick kid, and the youngest was home too (summer), and undertook a major repair at the same time. Part of the sill of the house had water ingress. I took the deck off the house, jacked that end of the house off the foundation and replaced the sill and put it all back. I also continued to make all meals and entertain the not sick kid.

Again... I received complaints about all of that. How long it was taking, etc. If I was working on the project, I wasn't doing enough in the house and wasn't caring for the kids. If I was with the kids and cooking etc, then the project was taking too long and she was living in a construction zone too much. I was also subject to the complaints that the yard and front of the house looked unkempt. More than once I was told, "JUST F'ING FIX IT!"

No matter what I did, she was put out and annoyed by it.

And you know what? I was a good dad, and a good husband and a good protector, teacher, and provider through all of that.

RDM