I don’t think it’s cynical at all. I think it’s just being reasonably cautious. It’s always recommended to meet people on a neutral territory in a public place at a day time. Sure it’s mainly meant for a romantic date but it’s not that different if it’s friendship situation. Not only she could be unstable (which she turned out to be) but her husband and roommate could be drunks or on drugs or criminally insane and who knows what else. Sadly people cannot be trusted until you really know them

It’s realistic of you to expect her to behave like normal people would. Of course there’s nothing wrong with your expectations. But clearly it’s not what happened. She was skillful in her portraying herself as a decent person. Clearly she is not