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Free1 said:
i was always too afraid to speak anything other than superficial stuff and finding it a waste of time and money because the ones inside wont let me talk about things and so i never let anything out.

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It sounds like you have a lot of important issues to discuss. Maybe this T isn't the right fit. Maybe with a different T you'll feel less guarded? Or Will you see her again and would you feel comfortable writing your feelings on paper and sharing them that way? Is she aware of your fear and the conflict of the others inside of you?
When I was seeing my first therapist I was so much like you and I was unable to share what I really needed to (still am like that but gradually making progress). One day after about 2 months he said he thought I had benefited as much as I could from therapy. Verbally I was very compliant and even agreed with him to end it, however toward the end of the session I threw a book across the room and didn't offer to pick it up. This was so unlike the "controlled" me he had seen. I ended up staying with him for 7+ years.
I hope you can resolve this with her or someone else because you deserve to get the help you need.