First off, thank you so much for your good thoughts about my husband. He got some antibiotics, and we're hoping that will help some, but unfortunately, it sounds like he's going to need another surgery and possibly more every 5 years or maybe even sooner! It's been a pretty depressing day, to be honest.

Which makes it even harder now for me to reply to your first post (cuz i'm in a mood and already stressed about his health and the travel and the costs). I mean, I had legit concerns, but I probably maybe shouldn't have posted about it unless it was super concerning. I mean, because I've been sleeping better now (i mean, i did stay up late last night and was forced to wake up early today to go to the docter, but I was still feeling sleepy like I could have slept AND I took a long nap today and even a short one last night) But yeah, I kinda worry about people's opinion of me here in this subforum, to be honest. I don't want them to think I'm making light of bipolar if I don't have it but I keep whining about "symptoms".

But more to your post. Yeah, of course hubby's opinion has an influence on me. I mean, as much as I wish he wouldn't say things the way he says them, he does have some valid points. Like the cost and the legitamacy of the care here. And unfortunately, I've had experiences to both of those things. Like ...oh i'm too tired to go into much detail, but one example is how my one therapist basically just read word for word from a book for our DBT therapy. Like geesus! I could do that at home, for free, on my computer! And because she was a specialist, she cost even more than regular therapy (which was actually better, but still had it's own issues for me) So like, it's me too that struggles with wanting or having to use the local mental health care system here. And unfortunately, I've talked to my GP about things and while he's helped some, he keeps referring me to see those who specialize in the subject...and he suggested those closer to home (cuz he's like an hour away).
So yeah, frustrating!

But again, I'm feeling better now, so I just feel stupid about my original post (i mean original to our conversation). *facepalms