Lunch tasted good, but that's as far as I got. I'm still stuck, not wanting to do anything.

Social phobia is a lot of what this is about. Yesterday, I went to a nearby community center to see what activities are offered that I might take advantage of. They offer quite a bit. I walked around the center looking the place over and seeing postings and flyers about things that go on there. It made me feel very uncomfortable.

Last month I took a short computer class there, which I enjoyed. Being there yesterday, just walking around the place, felt very lonely.

To come back from visiting family, where I didn't have much success strengthening bonds, makes me wonder how I can expect much success going among strangers. I start to feel sorry I was ever born.

It's not a very interesting story - this tale of my isolation. I was going to Al-Anon before my trip to learn how not to badly react to my sister's drinking, which leads to her becoming hard to deal with. Where I was going was a small group. I tried participating as best I could. I felt like an outsider there.

I tell myself that I just have to persevere and understand that it takes time to connect with new people. I start out having faith that things will get better and I'll learn to talk with people I meet, as I spend more time getting to know them. My faith drained out of me today. It is awful to feel this isolated.