I broke down today. Just totally overwhelmed by everything and the lack of sleep. After spending the morning trying to get boxes. I came home defeated and beaten. On top of everything the toilet won’t flush. It bubbled up and refused to flush no matter how much I plunge it. That was the last straw. Had a bawl, e-mail my pdoc told him I’m totally overwhelmed and not sleeping. I’ve never emailed him before I got a little outa message that it might be up to 4 days before he gets back to me. I’m not sleeping, I’ve stuck to my schedule and I do fall asleep mostly but I wake after just a couple of hours and can’t get back to sleep. The stress is overwhelming me. I worry about finances and being on my own again.

Gotta remember that I do have family, here. Called my daughter and she came over after work and took me out for happy hour. We had Bloody Mary s and some type of fancy appetizers. Then went to marshals for retail therapy. They had the perfect Jean jacket on clearance. Just one, my size! I needed that. And a pair of dressy lightweight slacks. Then I showed her my apartment. It is tiny but very, very clean. She loved it and kinda for a moment wished she didn’t have a huge house, two kids a dog and a snake! But just for a moment. She’s turning 40 this month!

The smoke is here too but better today, than yesterday.