Yeah, those are exactly the kind of thoughts I'm talking about. I do have hope that they can eventually go away... I know I'm clearly capable of forgetting things, it's just usually the stuff I'm actually trying to remember. Sometimes when I'm falling asleep I might be trying to think of something and my mind will constantly drift away from it. I wish it would do the same thing for my intrusive thoughts.

I'm also looking into CBD coffee for the time being. Ordered some online and it should be here tomorrow. I'll report back on how it is

A friend of mine suggested that I start journaling my anxiety both as a way of keeping track of exactly what causes it as well as helping to ground me by stopping to document it. I gotta admit I was surprised at how quickly I noticed a pattern developing. Sort of like you had pointed out the other day about how anxiety is a normal part of life, but it feels like an anxiety attack... I'm really having a hard time dealing with stress of any kind lately. I'm trying to avoid it and just relax as much as possible, but obviously avoiding stress entirely forever isn't really feasible... so it's something I'm addressing in my therapy program.

My girlfriend will probably be in there another week or so, give or take. I feel bad because I can't (as in, too anxious to) go up there and visit her or bring her things, but I really feel like that's a big part of why driving makes me anxious in the first place - it's always something I do because I have to, not because I want to. I haven't really just felt free to be a total trainwreck for a week or two because it always seems like I have some responsibility or I'm letting someone down. I feel like I just need to feel okay to not feel okay for a little while.

Anyway, just wanted to say again that bit about anxiety vs. anxiety disorder really resonated with me. Really good advice - I appreciate it!