Benadryl is the main brand name for diphenhydramine, which is an anti-histamine, long used for allergies. It has the side effect of being somewhat sedating. It has been the most common ingredient in over-the-counter sleep aids, like Unisom.

The main psych med that I taje is amitriptyline, a tricyclic antidepressant. It has a side effect of being somewhat sedating. Many years ago, it was pretty effective at getting me to sleep. Back then I was prescribe Librium along with it. Over the years, I did build up tolerance to both of those meds. Librium is no longer prescribed for me.

Amitriptyline (also called Elavil) was the only antidepressant that made a real impact on how I felt. Over the years, doctors had me on just about everything. Nothing else proved helpful. Some antipsychotics, like Seroquel, also promote sleep, but they didn't help the recurring depression. Antipsychotics also come with bad baggage that I didn't want.

The Elavil seemed reasonably effective at helping me sleep for many years. After menopause, my sleep problems started to get worse and worse and worse. I keep waking up at night over and over.

I think I need to keep a log of what time I go to sleep and how often I wake up. Maybe I should take that to a psychiatrist and see what a pdoc might recommend. I thought it didn't matter, since I'm retired and don't have to be rested and up for work at a specific hour. However, my sleep-wake pattern is getting so chaotic, it's hard to have a normal life. Getting out of the house and being physically active helps somewhat. But even that's not reliable.

When I'm depressed, sleep - if I can get it - gives me a break from feeling despondent. When I can't sleep, being despondent feels twice as bad, because I can go around the clock with very little break from it. Eventually, I get the sleep I need. I'm really not sleep deprived. At least, I don't feel all that fatigued.

When I'm not despondent, I can put up with the irregular sleep pattern better. Currently, I'm getting worse and worse depressed. To keep waking up in the middle of the night makes it a lot more stressful.

Ten years ago, I was being seen at the psych dept of my healthcare system. I was put on way more meds than I take now, which I didn't stick with. After my boyfriend died in 2020, I became hospitalized with depression and was put on a long list of psych meds. I stopped most of them as being either useless or dangerous.

I don't feel hopeful that there's any professional help I can get that will make any difference.

I take Vicodin twice a day for pain from disk degeneration in my neck and back. I can't get a real sleeping pill, while I take that. (The Feds frown on that.) I was on a wonderful anti-inflammatory med, called Indocin, that was great for my pains and aches. It is an NSAID. It had to be stopped because I developed bleeding ulcers, that caused me to need 5 blood transfusions in 2022.

I tell myself that this will blow over because my depressive episodes always do eventually blow over. For now, though, I'm in it, and I'ld just as soon be dead. I don't have a lot of patience with this.

Part of what causes the depression and the insomnia is being alone too much. I had hoped my trip to visit family would give me a boost, as it did in past years. When I was hearing a lot from family, it did help. This recent trip, unfortunately, was kind of a flop. So was my last one in 2020, where I flew back with my boyfriend's body. The sister I was staying with tends to drink excessively. That leads to disharmony. This time, I stayed with a different sister. But, when we all got together, alcohol combined with cannibis fueled some unhappy, hostile dramatics. I wish I never went back there. I guess I won't do that again anytime soon. I just have to put that experience in the past.