we've been married 4.5 years and have 2 babies together. Our son is 2.5 and daughter is 11 months.
In both pregnancies he had no problem with not helping me anything.. like even holding a door open for me and also had no problem yelling at me when I asked for help. in my 2nd pregnancy I experienced preterm contractions at 19 weeks. I didn't want to go to the hospital and wanted to get them under control myself to avoid a hospital bill. But I had to ask my husband to take over making dinner since I couldn't stand. of course that was met with complaints, but whatever.
At 30 weeks pregnant, it was my last day of finals and I fell and rolled into the street at my parents house. They told me to go to the hospital, but I insisted I would go right after my final because I'm stubborn.
of course I was having contractions and wasn't feeling much movement by the end of my exam- it took less than an hour to complete. I went straight to the hospital trying to stay calm. I messaged my husband to let him know the situation and that he will need to pick up our son. all he said was "ok". Later at home we had an argument in front of HIS parents because I asked him to help out so I can rest because well, I'm on bed rest rest because of the fall. He didn't seem to register that it was a serious situation and actually scary and was confused why everyone was so concerned about me, even his coworkers were concerned and he didn't understand why..
I don't even know his coworkers.
Recently I had a breast cancer scare. I'm only 30 but have over 80% risk and needed an MRI and mammogram. so I get it done and this time I'm told they found abnormalities and need to get a biopsy because it may be DCIS. I tell my husband all if this and his response was, "everyone has cancer.."
I tell my close family and friends and they are so concerned and hold me close and pray for me.
I get the biopsy done and the same family and friends check on me to see how it went and to make sure I feel well.(it was the morning of my graduation as well, so lots of emotions this day)
not a word from my husband.
I get my results back and I DO NOT have cancer!
I cry happy tears as do my family and friends.
all my husband did was look up from his phone, say "cool" and then go back to his phone.

my husband is not on the spectrum.. his emotions are fine with other people. in fact, one of his online gaming buddies is currently dying of and cancer and he talks about him all the time and how it sucks that he has cancer.

He thinks he loves me but all he can tell me is how great my butt looks. He hates everything I like and the things that have been a huge part of my life. Mariachi? hates it, dancing? it's for idiots, date nights? what for?
He also hates when the kids cry for me, he takes it way too personally and even yells at them too.

I'm stuck in this for now. Therapy sounds like a good idea, but I know you can't make someone care if they just dont.
So, I guess I'm just venting.