I feel good, but am I doing well? My sleep's been shyt. I've been drinking. I haven't been binging/purging as much. I've been smoking weed which made me hallucinate and paranoid a bit but it didn't bother me any because I felt lin control. My weight/body makes me want to die. I'm comparing it to the past me. Before the evil antipsychotics. Why did I need them? Why did they start me on Seroquel instead of something weight neutral? I want to decrease my Haldol dose, but I don't talk to my pdoc til the end of the month maybe next mont h idk. My peer support person should show up today. Is it okay to be drunk at 8am if you've been up since 1:29am and you have places to be at 2? There's a leak in my tire. I went for a run at 3am this morning. Wasn't even afraid of coyotes?

I'm sorry, I'm lonely. Everyone's left me and I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I can't redeem myself so why bother trying? Just continue to push people away....