Last evening I took a repeat dose of my amitriptyline. It helped even better than I had hoped for. I normally take one 50 mg tablet every evening. Yesterday, I took one an hour early. Then, several hours later, I took a second one.

I got two benefits. I was able to sleep much better. Secondly, I've woken up feeling less depressed.

If I want to be able to do that for a while, I'm going to need to get a psych consult. My primary, who is a P.A., doesn't want to increase my intake of amitriptyline on her own, unless it's just by 10 mg per evening.

Two months ago, I talked with my P.A. about me needing a psych consult, but she didn't follow through on it. I hate going over to the psych department, so I didn't push her on it. I don't bring up my problem with depression much, so I don't think she takes it seriously.

Lately, it's gotten a lot more serious. Usually, I figure there's nothing doctors can do to help, so I don't bring it up. In past years, I was seeing psychiatrists and got put on a crap-load of psychotropic drugs. That didn't help.
I did therapy for years, which also was fruitless. So I completely lost intetest in being seen at the psych hospital. I hate the place. But to increase my daily dose of amitriptyline, I am probably going to have to go there. For days, I've had recurring thoughts that I wish I were dead, but no actual intentions of self-harming.