Quote:
Originally Posted by MuddyBoots
I feel good, but am I doing well? My sleep's been shyt. I've been drinking. I haven't been binging/purging as much. I've been smoking weed which made me hallucinate and paranoid a bit but it didn't bother me any because I felt lin control. My weight/body makes me want to die. I'm comparing it to the past me. Before the evil antipsychotics. Why did I need them? Why did they start me on Seroquel instead of something weight neutral? I want to decrease my Haldol dose, but I don't talk to my pdoc til the end of the month maybe next mont h idk. My peer support person should show up today. Is it okay to be drunk at 8am if you've been up since 1:29am and you have places to be at 2? There's a leak in my tire. I went for a run at 3am this morning. Wasn't even afraid of coyotes?
I'm sorry, I'm lonely. Everyone's left me and I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I can't redeem myself so why bother trying? Just continue to push people away....
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Hugs MB, you don't deserve all this..
Sleep, alcohol, bulimia, weed, weight from antipsychotics, leaky tire. It's all a bit much (At the same time) - I deal with things like this, but perspective matters..
In a way where, sleep should be balanced first. To make sure you get a good sleep (By sleeping early - Possibly using something to knock you out), then you'd feel much better in the morning.
Then try to start fresh. I've stayed up long nights and days, lonely AF - I found some sort of beauty in it though. Some of my best memories (As they're all I've had).
With weed, fear decreases (Of psychosis) - But it shouldn't be smoked really (IMO) - Some strains are bad and okay for me, relaxing.. But it took a long time (5 years, on and off - To be okay with it). I advise against.
I have to go to work - But I'll talk later? ^- Much love, friend
