No, I wasn't mistreated or expected to apologize at home as a kid.

I'd like to clear something up there.

My parents are wonderful people. They both endured trauma as kids and wanted very much to give us an excellent life.

One parent came face to face with their childhood trauma when we were kids. That spiraled into periods of drinking.

It may have lasted weeks, then be good for months, then another several weeks, then maybe a year sober, or day by day, etc.

The alcoholic parent got help and entered AA in the first year. This went on for about 7 years with long stretches of sobriety too. They've been continuously sober for almost 30 years.

Being on a farm meant there was continuous work. Things weren't talked about, emotions weren't looked after, just keep moving.

As my parents dealt with their issues and trauma, we kids were left on the farm for a few days at a time with another family member... Who was a closet drinker.

This person sometimes drank while supposedly being responsible for us and the farm. We just.... Kept working. As a teen I often assumed responsibility for my drunk care taker and the house and farm.

My parents really grew up with no supervision. They actually learned to be parents on the job. They made big, big mistakes. They've apologized and owned them and talked openly with us once we were adults.

I went through a couple of bad years (in part because my wife tried to drive us apart), but I have a very good relationship with my family.

I just got off the phone with them in fact. They're genuine, good people.