For a week after getting home from my trip, I felt pretty good. Now, for the past few days, I've gotten very sad about how it was such an unhappy experience. I'm truly depressed now.

I tell myself that this feeling won't last . . . it will blow over. I've been like this before. Eventually, it blows over. I did really depend on my sisters for emotional support. Not that I would ever bother them much. I don't. I'm devastated at the coldness I felt while visiting. I'm very alone in the world, since my boyfriend died. It's getting me all upset just to even type these sentences.

My trash barrels have been on the curb since Tues evening. I've been unable to make myself leave the house even just to bring them in. I think it's partly social phobia. I'm afraid of even meeting a neighbor. Now I am crying and feeling distraught.

I'll put on some clothes and get the barrels.