Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmorPlate108
Many, if not most, abusive relationships escalate over time as well. (Frog in the pot) As the victim gains more tolerance, loses self esteem, and trauma bonds to the abuser, the look of the abuse changes.
Mean jokes and put downs turn into hurtful comments and insults, and eventually can become overt verbal and emotional abuse. Some abusers begin to covertly physically abuse their victim- "accidentally" knocking them down or slamming a door into them, and that can eventually give way to full blown overt physical abuse in time. They test to see just how far they can take the power trip.
Even with a family history of neglect and/or abuse, relationships don't generally start out looking like they are bad. For some people it's a process where you wake up one day and think "how the hell did I end up here?"
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This is my life, with the exception that I didn't experience physical abuse.
I loved my wife so totally, and a little at a time things crept in.
I changed so many things incrementally because of her anxiety, then because of her progressing physical health issues, then because she had a spat with a friend or family member.
So help me, LAST NIGHT at our counselling session, I likened my life to a frog in a pot, and said it became a full rolling boil in the last 2 years.
There were things, requests, she made of me that were just too far. She'd berate me, insist, etc., then redirect to something else if she didn't get her way or a response from me.
A few years back she got into a foolish battle with my parents over religion. My parents were dolts, old farts set in their ways, and they were wrong. I said this to them and to her. I didn't support them.
Her retaliation was that she was going to change the kids names so they didn't share my parents' names anymore. The kids weren't babies. They ranged between 10 and 15 years old.