It would be easy to look at my situation and think that a lot of my stress and anxiety comes from dealing with my girlfriend's problems, but they pre-date our relationship by a fair bit. I won't say that sometimes she doesn't help. At this exact moment, I'm lying awake in bed with persistent thoughts about the morning - including me agreeing to bring her some supplies she needs - and I cannot sleep at all. I should have been conked out two hours ago, and the second I actually try to lie down and rest, my mind starts racing and it just won't happen. I've taken some ZZZQuil and my reactive meds. I'm tired as hell and I just cannot sleep because I'm worried about the fact that I won't be able to get much.

Funny how anxiety loops work like that. Completely counter-intuitive. They are, in effect, their own problem.

I'm slowly getting through my therapy program, but I got stuck on a certain section. I was talking about it to the friend who recommended I start journaling , asking if she had any ideas what the take-away from it was since I was turning up blank. She said, "...this is basically the same advice I have you three days ago. Journaling lets you break down your emotions into their components and then gives you a look at the big picture." Kind of reminds me of advice I often give my girlfriend when she says that therapy won't help because she's heard everything at this point: the advice that changes your life won't be something you've never heard, it'll be something you already know said in a way that finally resonates with you.

I feel like I can definitely relate to your situation with your DH (Dear Husband? I'm unfamiliar with this term) on both ends of it. My girlfriend and I both feel like giant pains in the *** to the other because of our individual struggles and we both have some learning to do about not letting what the other one is going through bring us down too.

I have been doing better, but I'm at that part of recovery where I start feeling anxious because I realize that I'm actually doing better and then it's all I can focus on. I bought myself a Switch and a few games... hoping the experience of something completely new will provide a good distraction until my meds and/or therapy can get me leveled out. I do think the increased dosage I'm on is helping, but it's happening very, very slowly. I was talking to my grandfather and he said something that really stuck out to me - the meds that will help should work slowly, because the stuff that works faster will wear off just as quickly. I sincerely hope he's right.

Anyway, now I'm rambling. But that's okay, just sitting here and getting my feelings out is helpful, especially to someone I know has been in my shoes and knows what the struggle looks like. You give me hope that there is a light at the end of this tunnel, and I sincerely appreciate that. <3