It saddens me that it was a moderator of another mental health forum who invalidated me publicly by way of telling me that I am too complex. More so that my depth of communication is too complex.

Whilst one of four or five prescribed diagnoses is CCPTSD - Chronic-Complex PTSD -

Like I mean to not play on words re being certified as a complex case - it's the crossover of multiple DXs I feel is too often disregarded. Hell, sometimes I don't know where to post with so many subsections and being formally diagnosed with so many labels.

I've done the rounds and probably known by my sharing so candidly on such things, but for now see no reason to give up. It's time to unravel and present for others who imo get caught up in narrow-minded view or overly identify in one box vs another.

The level of my PTSD I've been subject can be quite extreme and therefore adequately labeled (still heeding my own red flags on victim identity)...

Forgive me... I am exhausted tonight but *&^% it. Depression has been so entrenched all my life on such a deep and abnormal level, it's damaged parts of my brain the same way I know that happens when fearful and rageful thoughts uncontrollably lurch around inside my head where I can't sleep for days on end. The ADHD secondary to the ASD or even that priority changing depending on the level of rumination and flashbacks... man...

Long-term meds don't work with me due to heavy drug use in my past. Speed-like meds just put me to sleep instead of calming me down, and the antipsychotics just sap the life from me with all the major side effects. I don't think I explained that well, but that's OK... tonight I'm just letting the thoughts slide without bothering to polish.

I just remember that heartless moderator who publicly posts on another mental health forum announcing that my communication skills are too complex and unnecessary. I ignored the comment as I have been doing of late, despite the obvious invalidation. I don't think that place was very knowledgeable about the complexities of the many subsections that cited so many labels.

Yet these labels in no way invalidate how I perceive. That statement kind of different but also similar at other times liken to a special needs kid where people make all kinds of claims right in front of them thinking that kid is too damaged to know what's going on around them.

What some people refer to as mindfulness I have used for a long time instead of meds among other things, when I am more able to find the will. That helps me see past the cardboard walls of so many boxes in ways that others could only hope to see.

I'm not taking that comment too personally in getting mad, but it does sadden me as though the invalidation being most untactful from thier position, does hold some truth in terms of what others are prepared to read let alone being able to see when they do.

This speaks volumes on the isolation that so many of us feel. I may as well be moaning and grunting in such instances when it comes to being heard.

Don't mind me as I use this space to rock back and forth.

All good.