I hope you were able to get some sleep and that today is a relatively good day.

I went through a couple of years where I don't think I was able to sleep more than a couple of hours at a time

Getting stuck in the loop is awful. Getting out of it is tough. It absolutely can happen though.

If I can offer you anything, I hope it's HOPE, because I'm living proof that you can get out of the loop and feel okay again. It's just a matter of finding the right thing that works for you. Tbh with you, the only reason meds were not part of the deal for me was because I was too anxious to go to a doctor. You will get there! Just don't ever give up.

Your grandfather sounds smart. Slow and steady wins the race. He's probably right about the meds.

H does stand for husband. D is a variable depending on the day

You're lucky that your girlfriend is aware of herself and takes responsibility. One of the issues here is that Dh is not very self aware, and everything always seems to be someone else's fault. That's where the super strong boundaries come in. I deal with him, but it's not always easy and it can take its toll. That's not to say that he is/was the sole reason for the anxiety.

Some of what comes out when I journal surprises me. Have you had that experience? Like a revelation that seems to come out of nowhere?

Wow, I really like what you said about the thing that changes your life being something you already knew, but in a new way. That's like Jedi wisdom.

I always felt afraid when things started to feel better because i didn't want it to slip back and feel bad again. The rollercoaster is rough. But setbacks are normal. Try to float through them and you get back to a better place before too long.

What games are you playing on your Switch? My DD is a Zelda fan and has been playing Tears of the Kingdom lately. It's so beautiful and relaxing .

Did you get the CBD oil? How is that going? Does it have much of a flavor, and if so, is it pleasant?

Hope you have a great Saturday!