@Nammu - thank you for describing to me what you're doing because it sounds a lot like what I could be doing. They have meals at the center that I joined. I feel funny going there to eat by myself, so I haven't tried it. Hearing that you go by yourself gives me some encouragement. There's other activities I could try there. I just feel so bad going to a place where I don't know anyone. It reminds me of when I was in high school and my family moved. I didn't know anyone in the town we moved to. During lunchtime, I would stay in the bathroom because I was afraid to walk into the cafeteria alone.

My life has had too much of that kind of experience. I always forced myself to do things and go places, despite my fear of being around others whom I don't know. I've done a lot of trying. I feel like I have no "trying" left in me.

Maybe this sadness will go away.