@divine1966 - thank you for taking the time to reply and share those suggestions. I'll refer to them tomorrow again.

I ate nothing all day. I just boiled water for cup of noodles. I ate half and can't continue. What I ate sits awful heavy on my stomach now. The kitchen hasn't been tidied up in 3 days. The trash hasn't been taken out and smells.

On my recent trip, nothing went as I had hoped. I am very bad at any fancy digital stuff like "streaming" and "podcasts." Part of my plan for my visit was to ask my nieces and nephews to tutor me a little on that stuff. They are grown and are all wizards at that stuff. I was close to them when they were kids, and we always had fun together. One of my nephews stayed a couple of days at the home where I was staying - his mother's house. He completely ignored me to a degree that was awful. It was embarrassing and humiliating for me to be there, while he was there. I swear. You can't even picture this without having been there. My other sister had said her daughter would gave been glad to help me. I was hopeful about that, until my niece through a fit at me.

When I say this was the family get-together from hades, I can't begin to adequately convey that here. Maybe a lot of what's wrong with me now is just the need to finish recovering from the shock of that. I'm still aghast at how that visit went.

Maybe I will wake up tomorrow feeling a little closer to getting over this miserable experience. It's still so fresh in my mind. If only I could go asleep for a good long while. But no. I cannot sleep even 3 consecutuve hours. I wake up over and over at night. Sometimes I wake up every 90 minutes.

I should make a written log of my sleep-wake pattern, and bring it to a psychiatrist, if I can get in to see one. This is so abnormal. I don't get a chance to recover from daily stressors.

I will try to take out the kitchen trash now. Then I will go to bed. This state of mind can't go on forever.