@captaineo - Thank you for trying to commiserate with me. I'm sorry that you are so awfully distressed, even fearing for your life. In fairness to yourself, I strongly advise you to start a thread of your own where your troubling situation can be the central focus. I don't know you, so I'm not at all familiar with what you're going through. It sounds like you need a place to really talk things out and get feedback. I'm not sure which forum would be best for you, but just pick one and pick a title and get started. The moderators will also help you get into the most appropriate forum by moving your original post, if that will serve you best. Get started on that, please, so members of MSF can give you some support targeted at your individual situation. It sounds like you need it.