I know, but even when I weigh myself at the same time every day it goes up and up. I think my problem is (tmi) I'm super constipated. Just another great effect of eating disorders.

I probably have 4 days worth of food in my gut, and of course my mom had to make cake and barely eat it (I really need to move out again) so I--having no impulse control--ate most of it along with the leftover frosting. I tried to purge it while she was out of the house but I only had like 15 minutes and I probably only got like a quarter of it out before she came back.

I want to get my car fixed up right and good and just leave. Live in it. Travel wherever the fk I want. Be on my own. Not live with people that only eat junk food or people actively using substances or people that hit you and force you to have s*x with them. I miss my grandma. Things were good when I lived with her.

But yeah, I'm way over my GW and getting further and further from it. I know I'm trying to recover and I am cutting down on the binging and purging but the thoughts and the body checking and overall obsession with food and numbers just won't go away.