Thank you alevin, Fuzzybear, and Kiya. (((((((everyone))))))))

I'm in a weird emotional place right now. I feel like I'm living two different lives. I'm not the same person when I'm back at home...

At least I was able to find a diversion for today. My friend and I went out for Chinese/Japanese, but unfortunately he is rather difficult to communicate with on an emtional level, so I wasn't able to talk about my feelings (I hate faking happiness...). But it was fun, and the meal was rejuvenating, the best food I've had for a long, long time.

But a diversion is just that... a diversion. I haven't solved anything or changed anything, and now that I'm back at home, typing away on my computer in the wee hours of the morning, the pain, despair, loneliness, and grief flood back as if from a broken levy. My home is just an emotional vortex for me, so staying here is the last thing I really want to do. Right now, I have no choice.

I'm gonna go try to get some sleep. Thanks for all your support; it's really helping to keep me going.

Take care everyone,

J