Please know that you can't change anyone, that they have to do that themselves.

Not sure of your ages, but 8 months is still generally the "honeymoon phase" and you're getting a lot of grief. Don't let guilt hold you back from leaving...


Are you seeing a psychologist? If not, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to consider.


I don't think you should try tackling this alone.

A couple of resources, look up "cycle of abuse" or "cycle of violence", also perhaps the "saviour complex" and "triangulation" in bpd where someone can switch and be the abuser or victim and the other person (you) is the rescuer.

Also, does he use drugs? You could check out Al-anon. There's also Codependents Anonymous that has a Canada-wide chapter that has in-person and online meetings.


I know a woman whose husband has bpd, but he is in therapy and works quite hard on himself... still it is not easy for her. I would say her being so preoccupied with her husband's moods actually keeps her mind off of her own inner void and she'd be lost and depressed not having the 'structure' of her husband's bpd to distract her from herself. Food for thought...