I believe you're misguided by the notion of a perfect race which you believe others have run, but you have been unable to accomplish. The truth is the perfect race is the myth. Making mistakes, especially when we're young, is common place. Instead of apologizing for what comes natural to all of us, accept your past as a learning tool to grow and be better. That's the value of making mistakes. We all become better people for it. Dating someone is not about exploring how you grew into the person you are today. You're not under evaluation for your past. Embrace who you are, learn from your past, and move forward.