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LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
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Default Jun 15, 2023 at 10:30 AM
 
My answer is very similar to that of Nottrustin. That they take as long as needed. I think it's important to have a T who understands that, who isn't frustrated, like "Shouldn't you be over this by now?"

For me, it can take a bit of discussion at the time, then maybe I think I'm fine. But then something will come up, whether weeks or even months later, and I realize I need to discuss it more. In fact, that's going on now with my T--a rupture we had in November/December is being discussed again now. And it's not like we were discussing it all that time. I've found it can help ti discuss later, when you're not in the heat of the moment so much. When emotions have calmed down and you've each had time to step back and potentially reflect on what happened.

I also think it's important that T's understand how it can be difficult for a client to miss a session, whether due to their vacation or another reason. Even if rescheduling isn't possible, for the T to at least say, "I realize how difficult this is, and I'm sorry," that can go a long way. I do think it's too much for a T to be off for a week every 6 weeks or so. The summer I had the most conflicts with my T was when he was off for a week, then back for 3, then off for a week, back for 3, then off for another week. I was seeing him twice a week at the time. I would just get back into feeling secure when he'd be going away again. I think that contributed to the conflicts. We also had very few conflicts during the first 2 years of the pandemic, when he was rarely off (even for a day or two).

He tends to take 3 or 4 one-week vacations a year, plus some long weekends and random days off here and there (he generally tries to schedule me for another day if he's off on one of my regular session days, which I appreciate). He also has a back-up therapist, who I like, who I can see when he's away (assuming she's in town, of course!). So that helps, too. And he allows emails when he's away and will send brief responses in the mornings (I mean, I couldn't email him every day!)
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