I set myself a deadline. I can't keep on living in the promise of a great future anymore. I have been struggling and working hard for twenty years and have nothing to show for it. It is time this 'great future' starts. I will graduate next year. I want a relationship by then. If I don't manage, I will draw my conclusions, accept it will never happen and call it quits. There is a limit to the amountvof suffering one van handle and I am way past it