I don’t even know how to begin to let out all of these feelings about my grief over my family and friends deaths. I thought I had processed most until I lost my last two siblings last month. Less than two weeks apart. My sister’s autopsy has not come back yet. My brother died less than two weeks after her of a brain stem stroke. They said he had bronchitis earlier that week. Now I am back to constantly dreaming about my parents, cousin, brother and one of my student’s that killed herself last November. I even find myself going back to my sister-in-law’s suicide in 2000! It is to the point that somehow my recent losses don’t feel real. Like they will be back tomorrow. Before I even get out of bed every single morning, I am overwhelmed and literally have to steady myself when I finally get up. I don’t know what to do.