What makes it traumatic is what it got used for in 2012 when that year was already filled with bad, literally nothing good happened that year, and on the spiritual forum me and admins pet member got told to ignore each other, which i obeyed she didnt

Then she ran to the admin whos pet she was, which then resulted in that admin having several go at me for following mod instruction and that pet member kept trying to get reactions out of me so if i kept ignoring her, admin would have a major go at me, and when i tried telling her to leave me alone she ran to the same admin again and i got another massive go at me so i cant win

Everything i do is wrong so theres no point