Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I find something else interesting. You seem to assume that you fall in love first and then ask a woman out and get to know her. You are putting cart before the horse. It doesn’t work that way. If you are interested in someone, you spend time together trying to get to know them. Then if you two click, it becomes more frequent and yes you might fall in love or not. But you can’t do it in reverse. Plus what you feel for these women might not be love at all, you don’t know them enough outside of a workshop or whatever activity you engage.
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We have know each other for eight months now. We talk. She was in a relationship initially, the breakup is quite recent.
I always have a lot of anxiety when engaging in such situations. That is how I end up with the emotions I currently have before I even manage to ask somebody out. It is when this happens that I try to act upon it.
My anxiety refrains me from setting a step unless I feel it is really worth the risk. But in my current situation, the risk has become so big that I have reached a point where I a relapsing in a deep depression. Again.
And it is exactly this type of occurences that make my anxiety grow and makes it even harder to act, even in situations where no emotions are involved.
I know how these things happen and become worse. I have no solution and so far therapy has not been interested because as a student who is passing his exams, I am still functioning so they assume things can't be that bad.
This mechanism leaves me with no options in case my current endeavor fails so every time I show an interest, it is extra valuable because it might be the last I encounter.
But on the other hand, dating random people does not appear a constructive approach but if I want to 'date' without the burden of these emotions, I am probably restricted to women I will not want to build up something with for as soon as some degree of emotion kicks in, I will be paralyzed.
Isn't it completely hopeless then?