(((MuddyBoots)))
I am also living with my mother; otherwise, I'd be homeless right now, too. I have severe major depression with psychotic features, GAD and some OCD. I have been in hospital for this...
Life can be and is really rough and
I went through a stint of drinking very heavily to medicate myself... ended up attending online AA meetings to try to get a handle on it and because I was so lonely.
I'm so sorry to hear you've been through trauma.
It's good you have people who can help you, but really tough that they have to cancel all the time. That must feel really rejecting on some level, at least it would for me. I sincerely hope that they will not cancel on you upcoming, as you need the support right now.
I've read and watched some YouTube videos of Dr. Gabor Maté. He is an expert on trauma, mental health and addictions. If you have time, do check him out.
Keep reaching out here...
And you can often find me on chat, if you want to talk over there.
Please hang in there and try to do things that are kind and gentle to yourself... I know that can be easier said than done.
Hugs, if wanted
Gal