@pixiedust72 - I'm sorry you're feeling so defeated. To be pushing along and not see progress is awfully discouraging. Relationships plus career make up a huge part of what life is all about. To see lack of success on both those fronts can seem like too much to bear. I've had failures in career and in relationships. I've felt overwhelmed with loss and disappointment. It can hurt terribly.

Just looking at how well you express yourself, I'm sensing that you do have considerable skills. It seems you are an educated person. I know that doesn't automatically translate into worldly success. I won't tell you to just buck up and know that you're life will get better. It's not for me to say. I don't know what your future does hold, or might hold.

If this discouragement you feel has gone on for more than a couple of weeks, then it's likely that you are depressed. In a depressed state of mind, you badly need support. You can get some of that here. Maybe you can get some elsewhere also. I would say: Get whatever support you can get from wherever it can be found. Often we modern humans live such isolated lives. I think that's a lot of the problem.