This past weekend was horrendous. I couldn't control my emotions and I blew up at those close to me when they didn't deserve it...

I don't want to become the abuser. The people in my life are all I know. I don't want to make them ill. I don't want them to have ptsd from me. I do care about them but I'm not showing that. I need to come back from earth.

I also struggle to let go of my anxieties and try to not give it power over me.

I used to think I can't let go of anxieties. It's just there. I didn't make it up come there. Maybe.

But I need to monitor my thoughts. And stop allowing bad thoughts to come up and don't let it to stay here. Bad thoughts are not welcome in my life. I need to tell myself that I am enough.

I need to control my negative emotions and tell them to go away because they are hurting me and everyone around me...

My friends didn't deserve it.