I had a therapist who explained it as attraction to familiar. Because that’s all you know, your body responds by sending all kind of chemicals to your brain. Then you get all excited. I bet you meet decent non chaotic person and you’d find them boring and not exciting. Then you just go through the same cycle. It’s hard to break it, but it helps to be aware. You meet a person. Ask yourself do they drink, do drugs, party every day, sleep around? If yes you shouldn’t proceed no matter how excited you feel. Is it easy? No. The excitement of chaos is strong.

You can’t have healthy relationships with unhealthy dysfunctional partners. The first step is to avoid such partners.