I don't feel well, depression "lite" + feeling indifferent. Took a few Valiums, so may be the indifference can be explained by that (in combination with the heat).

It is almost 6 weeks since I came back from vacation and I haven't been able to make a plan that helps me to come on a course that is pointing forward.

I was depressed when I went on vacation for three weeks and came home tired because of the heat there, but a bit better with regard to my depression.

I think some of the trouble I experience is about my apartment. I want to live in the city and that means a small apartment. Prices are higher in the cities! I am satisfied with that, but not all of my family members. They think I should live in a bigger and more modern aparent. It is as if I have adopted their feelings about this apartment. It is not strange that I get a lot of intrusive thoughts about shifting apartments and use a lot of the time to dream of something else. For whom? For them or for me?

Since nobody else is gong to set their foot down for me, I need to do it myself. No more looking for apartments or other distractions, but concentrate about getting my plan to work one step at the time.

I can set up a reward system for following the path I think is right for me, but I have not been able to set up something.

Gosh, I'm so tired! .... ....