I feel like I have this annoying habit of over explaining myself and feel like how I express myself, no matter how well intended I am, gets twisted and ridiculed into being something totally wrong.

I know the root cause is emotional neglect and invalidation to the extreme.

I disconnected from a few people recently (family, my ex) who liked to lash out with me having said x so many months ago (without context, or by leaving out major details).

Even knowing there are falsehoods or things have been deliberately taken out of context, I tend to question what have I done? And what can I do better? The truthful answer is there is nothing I can do because this person is trying to frame my character as negatively as possible, and they will twist my reaction, no matter how kindly I react.

I know this but I can’t help how that **** makes me feel and there almost is no way to avoid people saying and doing ****** things with the intention of dragging you down.

How do I stop the need to over explain myself.